10 Types of Guests present at every Indian wedding!

Indian weddings comprise of 3 primary factors- guests, food and the priest. The bride and groom and their families seem to be secondary in comparison! After all, guests nahi honge toh itni shaandar shaadi ki taarif kaun karega? They make up for the 95% of the crowd at weddings so they definitely deserve a blog of their own! Presenting you, types of guests that you’ll come across at any and every Indian wedding!

1. The Fish

You’ll observe at least one school of fish stationed at the bar, siphoning the last drop of alcohol. They won’t hesitate in drinking their 78th glass! The funny thing is only an amateur few will sway in their way but our master drinkers will be upright even after their 2012th drink!

2. The Disco Dancers

These people have “I am a disco dancer” tattooed on their forearms. If you miss their tattoos, their mind blowing moves on the dance floor will be enough to tell you the same. Careful, for their thumkas have the power to push you far away from the floor!

3. The Anxious Bride’s Squad

There is no denying in the fact that bridesmaids are the best, but there is also no denying in the fact that they are more anxious than anybody present at the wedding! The anxious bride squad also includes the mother of the bride. The groom doubts himself lesser about his performance issues than these people do about the smallest of things!

4. The Gluttons

Gluttony is a sin, they say. Gluttony is a way of life, I say! Gluttons can be found in abundance at Indian weddings. 80% of the crowd is only there to gorge on the scrumptious buffet. It’s a well known fact that nobody cares about the bride and groom but everybody cares about the food served!

5. The Nitpick

There’ll be at least one nitpick at a wedding. He/she will constantly find faults in every small detail. From the stage decor, to the drapes, from the bride’s attire to the groom’s mother’s attire, nothing escapes under their scrutinizing watch! You’ll even hear them say things like, “Humare beti ki shaadi pe toh gold ke thaali pe khaana serve hua tha!”

6. The Photo Fanatics

Ughh, of the entire lot, I despise the photo fanatics the most. You’ll find them clicking selfies in each and every pretty corner of the venue. They’ll ask the most random people to take their pictures! Once my sister annoyed me so much with her obsession that I almost paid a stranger to click her pictures at a wedding!

7. The Competitors

I like to call these guys the wedding geeks. They are always at loggerheads with the opposite party, often without their knowledge! They are much like Naina from Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. Bunny did not call her “Border ke Sunny Deol” for nothing!

8. The Fashionistas

Move over bride, the overly dressed squad is here! Some people just overshadow the bride with the amount of bling and glam on them. Ugh, shine at your own wedding, sister!

9. Gossip Mongers

Mohalle ke aunties know everything! For them weddings turn into breeding grounds- they breed gossip 10x faster! They’ll even tell you about your past relationship with that “bandar jaisi shakal wala lakda”

10. The VIPs

Last but not the least, the VIPs! It can be your Amreeka wale ameer fufaji who demands respect or that one far fetched relative who has political connections. Somehow they are deemed as important. I think they have tags on them that read “Fragile. Handle with care!”

Which one defines you the best?