Dear Baraatis, its ‘High Time’ You Get Your Act Together!

The wedding season is almost upon us. Which means we get to witness stunning brides dressed in drop-dead gorgeous lehengas, the decor and planning companies surprising us by taking the game a notch higher and of course, lots of drama and pizzaz! We will also hear of instances where the baraat was super late and how the bride’s family couldn’t do anything about it. Today I am not going to write about who wore what or about the wedding buffet or how the bride danced elegantly. Today I am writing an angry letter to the baraatis, a letter that hopefully makes a difference. Dear baraatis, sit straight and get ready for you’re about to get an earful.

Day in day out you hear about baraats reaching the venue at least two hours later than the said time. Two has now become the norm! People will stretch it till 3-4 hours aaram se. I have only one question- WHY?! Are you school-going children who don’t understand the basic concept of reaching a venue on time? And school-going children know the value of reaching on time as they are afraid of late remarks! It looks all fun and games but it is not. It just conveys one message- that you have absolutely no respect for your bride or her family who is waiting for your arrival. Would you like it if your family was kept waiting?

I know baraats are meant to have fun, grooving to the beats of the band baaja. By all means, please enjoy yourself to the fullest. But enjoying yourself is not equal to being late. No sir, it is not! Be considerate my child, be considerate. The bride is all decked up, laiden in heavy jewellery and lehenga waiting for her groom to whisk her away. Her family is anticipating your arrival and have arranged a great deal for y’all. If you give me excuses like “oh, it takes time to reach on foot”, or “dance karte karte pata hi nahi chalta” alana, phalana, dhimkana, I have solutions. In case the venue is at a distance from your residence, arrange for cars to transport the baraatis. You can dance at the venue or start dancing a kilometre before. Agar dance karte pata nahi chalega toh boss, dance hi mat karo. Chup chaap aajao.

I have danced my way in baraats many a times. And no, we have never kept the bride waiting! Think of it this way- it’s like a chain of dominoes. If you are late, the wedding is late. The venue will charge for the extra hours and so will the other vendors. Awaken the inner miser, maybe this way you’ll be on time! And if nothing motivates you, think of the taunts you are going to receive from your bride for the rest of your life. If you are lucky, she will let it go. If she is anything like me, she will put Dolly Bindra to shame!

Khudke shaadi pe toh time pe aajao yaar!