What Question to Ask in an Arrange Marriage Meeting – Weddingz Advice #1

Don’t shy away from asking questions, more questions and then, some more get to know questions. Ask away, cos’ now is when he might just answer!

Be a modern bride on a hunt:

Ditch the mundane process of meeting at home amidst a crowd full of relatives hanging on to your every word. Get out! Go for a date. Have some fun. If you can’t, he’s not the right guy. Move on. Fun must be had and sparks must fly!  Do not settle for anything less. If the family is conservative, step out to a balcony or a terrace or a neighbourhood coffee joint for a quick cuppa and a chat. While at it, be yourself and have a casual conversation like you would, with anyone for that matter. The more relaxed you feel, the more ‘at ease’ he will, which means a more honest conversation. We can’t emphasize on how important honesty is when getting to know each other.

Put down your future-goggles and look at him with today-eyes: He ain’t gonna change, and nor will you.

This isn’t a job interview, a business meeting or a five year national budget discussion. GET REAL! Stop with those, “how many kids do you want, will I be allowed to work after the wedding and where do you see yourself five years from now” typical marriage questions.  Do not focus on what he will be 5 years down the line because you probably don’t know what you will be 5 years from now. Weave in your questions in a conversation. For instance if you value your career, say that when you are talking about yourself. Present a hypothetical situation asking if he would move cities in case you were getting a wonderful opportunity to work in another city.  Or mention that you’re not sure about kids. It’s something that you cannot think about right now.

Now, here are the 3 key things to look for in your partner in arranged marriages

(Though it’s not a hard and fast rule, yet somewhat essential, especially if you want to avoid conflicts later on)

• Similar interests – just so you always have something fun and interesting to do all your life. Or you can have a richer experience if you share each other’s interests. You love theatre, he loves the stock market. You start trading stocks, he starts watching plays. Viola!
• Matching wavelength – just so you don’t end up arguing all day, all night. Or give up on this relationship goal already. Expect that this will happen.
• Respect for each other – VERY IMPORTANT. And hard to judge in a few meetings. But if he is kind and generous, good to his mother, polite to people around him, it’s a decent indicator of what kind of a person he is. Keep your instincts and observation skills on high alert.

IF YOU DON’T FEEL THE SPARK, SCREAM ‘NEXT’ TO CONTINUE YOUR QUEST